Really? Really...

In the past few months that I haven't really been posting, I've come across a few pretty ridiculous things. Luckily camera phones are pretty awesome these days, so I can capture pretty much anything at any time. I would like to share some of the awesomely ridiculous pictures that I have taken in the past few months.

Really? Really...

It's like they didn't even try to park it like a rational human being. At what point do you get so lazy you can't even attempt to avoid the plant life next to your parking spot? What if that were a child, or a puppy...or a baby deer? You heartless jerk!

NEXT!!!

Jessica Claire and I were looking for some awesome 80's outfits at the Salvation Army when we stumbled upon this gem:

Hmmm...I don't know what to say about this. Maybe I shouldn't say anything. Yes... I think that would be best.

Lastly, this is what happens when you give Mark Becklund two avocados and tell him to pose. At least I can post his picture. Nate Kaiser...not so much.

He's the man...the man with avocado boobs. Still sexy as heck though.

What Is LL Cool J Thinking?!

I like LL Cool J. He was awesome in SWAT and...umm... well I liked him in SWAT. I don't really listen to his music, but he raps happy and I like that. I also like his old spice commercial- http://www.veoh.com/videos/v16481075jehYRatf .

I understand people wanting to make money. I understand that former B list celebrities would like to return to their former glory days. What I don't understand is why a rap star, who has built a reputation with his hard exterior (and rediculous chest and abs), would result to starting a clothing line for little girls? Yes folks, you heard correctly...little GIRLS!!! I'm not lying either. Here is a picture we ran across at the mall:

You can find his line at a Sears near you. Sears, really? Does anyone shop there for anything besides tools and underwear? It looks like he is trying to woo a 7 year old, and she doesn't even look that interested. She's probably thinking, " Maybe like 10 years ago, when you were somebody...". And the other girl is thinking, " No way...we came together and we're gonna leave together!" Crazy LL. I like you...but you're crazy.

Things I Don't Like

Well,you would think that after a month of not posting, I would have something to say...but I don't. I haven't taken any pictures since September. I don't like blogs without pictures, so here you go:

So even though I don't have a lot to say, I figured I could at least let you know a little about me. I thought I could start by giving you a list of things that I don't like, so here it is:

• Cats
• People who say that I would love their cat, even though I just said that I hate cats
• Roaches- this fact has been discovered at work, so now people think it is funny to put live or dead roaches on my desk in anticipation of watching me scream like a little girl. Not Funny. Not cool.
• Hand soap that makes me smell like a chick. I like to choose when I want to smell pretty. By only putting chick soap out, you're kinda backing me into a corner. If I don't come out of the bathroom smelling like Japanese Cherry Blossom you are going to know I didn't wash my hands.
• Mornings
• Tight underwear
• Loose underwear
• Pretty much underwear in general
• Man Capris
• Bad grammar
• People correcting my grammar
• People who correct my grammar with incorrect grammar
• Honeydew and cantaloupe
• Chihuahuas
• Christmas Carolers- They make me feel weird
• Christmas Caroling- It makes me feel weird
• People who go for a high five when you are going for a fist bump, resulting in some sort of odd fist grabbing action that just embarrasses both people
• Music elitists who think the music they listen to is so much better than yours...MICHAEL!
• Folgers- It is not the best part of waking up
• Starbucks whipped cream
• Rosy Odonald

Sorry if I offended any of you cat lovers, carolers, or Rosy Odonald. Please note that if anyone pulls any shenanigans with a roach, real or fake, I will bring the thunder!

-Keep your pimp hand strong-

A Moment With an Iron Chef

For those of you who don't know this about me, I am a Food Network junkie. I love it. I don't cook that much, but I guess I love to watch other people cook. Some of my favorite shows are Boy Meets Grill, Throw Down and Iron Chef. What do all of these have in common? BOBBY FLAY!!!

If you don't know who Bobby Flay is, the best way to describe him is Superman with a chef's coat. Catch up on your Food Network and you too will agree. So a few weeks ago Boomer, one of my good friends from college, met me in Vegas for a weekend of...prayer and fasting. Well we just happened to be praying and fasting in Caesar's Palace when, you guessed it, Bobby Flay walked right past us. So Boomer and I went over to him and started talking to him. He said that he was testing out recipes for a new Throw Down and asked us to try them out. So we went back into his restaurant and Bobby Flay started cooking for us. UNBELIEVABLE! Here we are, in Vegas, having one of the greatest chefs in the world cooking for us. He was so much fun. He showed us around and we rode the roller coaster at New York, New York with him. So we left with our bellies full of delicious Bobby Flay food, a doggy bag for later and some great stories to tell.

OK... here is what really happened. Bobby Flay walked past us and Boomer pointed him out to me. I got all sweaty and nervous and started semi-stalking the guy. He was on the phone so I was waiting for him to get off so I could take a picture with him. He started walking away so I took this picture that you couldn't make out was him if you sent it off to CSI. However...still one of the greatest moments of my life.

I know you can't see much, but the white figure in the middle of the screen is Bobby.

THE GREATEST SHOW OF OUR GENERATION- REBORN!!!

I just want to let all of you mid 20's-30 somethings that they are remaking (da na na na, da na na na, smack smack) Beverly Hills 90210! (That was the beginning of the theme song. I realize that my words to not reflect tone, which is why I didn't do the whole song. That would have gotten weird once I got to the guitar solo)

YAYAHHH!!!!


I am totally stoked. The new show lacks big belly jeans, t-shirts with sleeves rolled up and 30 year olds playing high schoolers...but it is still totally awesome! Think The OC with Jenny Garth and Shannon Dougherty. Kelly has a four year old boy on the show, and they keep on making references to "The Dad". You know who I think the dad is? Brandon. You heard it here first, folks...Brandon is Kelly's baby daddy! Nat still has a restaurant on the show, but it's no Peach Pit. I guess they're classing up the show. I'm still waiting on Luke Perry to show up in his Porsche late to 3rd period...because he's troubled, and that's what troubled high schoolers do. Ever since The OC got cancelled I have been waiting for another high school drama to start back up...but this is better than I could have hoped for. Merry Christmas to me.

90210...who would have thought?

Fingernails, Dr. Pepper and Babies

I talked to an old friend online tonight. She told me that she read my blog. She then called me a goober doofus but told me that she liked it. Hmmm...I wasn't aware that a goober doofus was a good thing. If someone said "Hey, you're a goober doofus", the last thing that would pop into your head would be, "Gee, thanks! I am a goober doofus". So I decided to write about something a little more serious tonight. Pain and child birth.

Tonight I hurt myself really bad! I was opening up a Dr. Pepper and the tab was really tight against the top, so I had to use my finger nail. As I lifted up instead of the tab coming up, my finger nail came up on the tip. I don't know why I don't learn that this always happens when I use my fingernails to open a soda...ALWAYS! So then I had to use my teeth to open it, which I hate the feeling of that also. Now I know that they say having a baby is the worst pain that most humans have to go through, but I bet the person that did this study didn't have sensitive finger nails. Now I know that a lot of moms are probably upset right now...but come on. Does having a baby really hurt as bad as this?

That's something you'd have a hard time proving to me. I know it doesn't look that painful, which is why most people will make fun of anyone who complains about this happening to them. I don't care though. This is pain and it is real!

See...I can be serious.

New Additions-New Traditions

My sister has a blog where she mostly writes about her kids. If you've read her blog, you may have seen that they have a tradition where they take a picture of the boys on their birthday wearing Danny's letter jacket from high school. Here is one the pictures:

Well I don't have kids, so you would think that this tradition would not pertain to me right now. Well I shouldn't let a little thing like not having kids stop me from doing this myself, should I?

If you have read my other posts you have read about my IPhone situation. A week after I got my new phone Apple announced a new version. I tried to pretend that I didn't care...like it didn't bother me that they came out with a better and cheaper model a week later. I bottled up those feelings I had, but I was fuming...FUMING! Ladies and Gentlemen...I am no longer fuming. I would like to present the newest addition to my family...Da da da daaaaaaa!!! (pretend that a trumpet played that, or a kazoo if you prefer) IPhone 3G:

It is so beautiful and fast. I love it like a real son, except a real son couldn't give you point by point directions using a global positioning system. It will be a part of my life for the next two years, barring any fatal drops or water damage. But in that case I have Apple Care, which will replace it for free. I've never seen a baby come with that kind of guarantee? I feel like I need to start my traditions with it. My letter jacket is packed away somewhere at the 'rents house in San Antonio, so I used another jacket to get the job done:

We have so much fun!