Sunday, March 29, 2009

In January I went to Big Bear with 9 of the most awesome people I know.

We rented out this ginormous cabin and it was a blast. (I actually did write ginormous because my brother and Jessica hate it when you combine two words together to create its own word) Check out Nate Keiser's blog post to catch up on all the shenanigans that went on.
So I was hangin out with Justin Lyon on the couch...
I woke up from the most awesome nap and saw the strangest thing:

Yes this is a lamp, but what is going on with the base. It's a bear, obviously in a lot of pain, with pine cone back pack. As an artist, what wonderful drug to you have to be on to come up with this insanity? But take a closer look. What does a bear in the forest walking around upright keep in his pine cone back pack? Another pine cone and sticks. Come on...I mean really? Not a sandwich, or a picinic basket?(Hey BooBoo!) Where is this bear going that he couldn't find sticks and another pine cone once he got there?

So then I looked around and found another cracked out lamp. Take a gander at this gem:

I like to think they are fighting over a chick. I don't know which one won in the end, but I see a fire in the eyes of the one on the right that the one on the left just doesn't have. I would narrate this fight, but I'm trying to cut out the personification of inanimate objects. Whoever won in the end, I hope they are very happy.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Loss of A Dear Dear Friend

Cast (In order of appearance):

Gary the Fake Tree
Jeff the Lover of Fake Trees
Jessica the Hater of Fake Trees
Clay the Supportive Friend

When I was right out of college I just got a new job living in a place where I didn't know anyone. I had to make it in a world that wasn't so kind. I didn't have a lot of money and I had an apartment that needed a lot of help. I went over to a friend's house and saw a fake tree that I really liked, so I thought "I can do this! I can buy a fake tree". So I bought a fake tree the next day. I loved my fake tree. When Jessica asked what my fake tree's name was, I named him Gary. Meet Gary, the Fake Tree:

This is my girlfriend Jessica:

(The dude on the left is me, not Jessica)

So the day after I moved into my place in CA, Jessica and I went to dinner. She said in a very understanding voice, "Jeff, did I see a fake tree in your apartment?", to which I replied, "Jessica, are you a hater of fake trees?" She admitted to being a hater, even though I was a lover. Something had to give. I tried to to spare Gary, moving him into less conspicuous areas in my apartment, but it was all in vain. She eventually got her way. Gary had to go. Poor Gary.

Even on such a sorrowful night, Jessica seemed much more chipper than usual? I don't know if it was that she has such a great boyfriend, or the dream that Gary would leave forever was finally coming to fruition. See what I mean?

So on the "Eve Of Disposal", a night that will live in infamy, Clay my good from Texas came out to console me.
Here are my last few moments with Gary:

I'm gonna miss you Gary.

This hurts me more that it hurts you. And remember, it's all Jessica's fault.

I'm sorry Gary, I'm coming for you!

I couldn't fit in the garbage chute

Hold me Clay!
Jessica, I hope you're happy because this was all for you!